Try Another Looking Glass
by siqwithaQ
Summary: Twenty-four short AU stories moved from my tumblr account. Various pairings/friendships, because all were written by request. Chapter 24 (Final): Domestic!Strawhat Family: Nami needs a little break from doing all the taxes for her whole family of idiots.
1. SaboLu: Neighbours

A/N: Why isn't there more SaboLu in this world?

For anyone following my other stories who might be wondering why I'm working on a new one: I'm not. These are all pre-written, hence my ability to update it daily. Still working on the others; don't worry!

* * *

Sabo was innocently watering his sister's plants when he first met his new neighbour. He was checking on the petunias, specifically, just before the boy seemingly popped into existence in his yard.

"Hi!" said the boy, making Sabo drop the watering can. "I'm Luffy!"

"Holy f— _cow_," he censored himself, the wide eyes the boy looked up to him with giving him the impression of a much younger person. "What are you doing in my backyard?!"

"I'm your new neighbour," Luffy said cheerfully. He stuck out his hand in Sabo's direction, unintentionally hitting him on the chest. "Let's be friends!"

"Uh huh." Sabo looked down at the petunias, crushed under the watering can, and winced as he shook Luffy's hand. His sister Koala was going to kill him.

As if she had a sixth sense, she appeared at that moment. "Sabo!" she called from the porch. "Who's that?"

"HI!" Luffy yelled to her eagerly, waving. "I'm your new friend! Can I come in?"

Koala tilted her head and glanced at Sabo. Sabo shrugged, but a second later he nodded at her. This kid could have been special needs, after all. In fact, it seemed likely. It wouldn't do just to turn him out.

When Koala invited him in, Luffy practically chirped, latching onto Sabo's arm. He looked up at Sabo again, all big eyes and big smile, and Sabo caught himself thinking he was cute.

_Don't crush on the special needs kid_, he told himself. _Don't crush on the special needs kid…_

"Will there be food?" Luffy asked happily.

"If you like," Sabo answered, doing his best to be noncommittal.

"Yay!" the boy cheered and nuzzled Sabo's arm. _Don't crush on the special needs kid_… "You're a lot nicer than my last neighbours. I like you!" He turned a blinding grin upwards.

Sabo swore he felt something wet just above his lip. _Oh god, don't nosebleed over the special needs kid! Damn it!_

"Need a tissue?" Koala muttered to him, smirking, as Luffy dragged him by her. Sabo glared at her, but took the tissue she held out for good measure.

Luffy found their kitchen, and couldn't be stopped.


	2. AceLu: The Running Prince

Ace had been very surprised to find a seven-year old living behind the town's small trash yard, and even more surprised to recognise him as the crown prince. The fact that the boy was now trying to follow him home was, yes, surprising, but more irritating than anything. Ace didn't have much room in his heart for the royal family, let alone whiny, annoying brats like the prince.

"Pleeeeeaaaase," whined the prince. "I'm lonely here and it smells bad and it's cold and I never have anything to eat anymore—"

"Then you should have just stayed in the palace!" Ace snapped, glaring. "And stop crying like that! It's disgusting!"

The prince hiccuped and tried to suck back in the snot and tears that had made their way onto his face. "Sorry… Can we _please_ be friends? I'm Luffy. What's your name?"

"Like I'd tell you! Leave me alone!" Ace turned and started stalking back in the direction of his home, but Luffy toddled after him. "What are you doing? I said leave me alone!"

"Why would you want to be alone?!" Luffy asked, shocked. "That's worse than being hurt! That's why I ran away!"

Ace paused. "You don't wanna be a prince because you're too lonely?"

Luffy nodded.

"And you really want _me_ to be your friend?"

He nodded again, expression earnest.

Ace looked away from his honest, pleading eyes, blushing slightly. "Well…" He looked around the trash yard. "If you're living somewhere like _this_ now… I guess you could tag along with me for a while."

"Really?!" Luffy's face broke out in a grin. "Thank you so much! You're awesome!"

Ace blushed more profusely. "J-just until you find somewhere else to live! Don't get attached to me or anything…"

"Thank you!" The younger boy grabbed Ace in a hug, cutting him off. "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! Thank you!"

Ace placed his hand hesitantly on top of Luffy's head, muttering, "…You're welcome."


	3. AceLu: Distractions

A/N: I'll admit right now, most of these are AceLu. I'm a big AceLu shipper, as are many of my friends/followers, who were requesting the ships for this collection. Without checking I would estimate about a third of these are AceLus, while the other two thirds are various other pairings. Also, does anyone have any input on what time of day I should be updating? Please give suggestions relative to when this was posted (IE "please post a few hours later/earlier") rather than "post in mornings/evenings please," because, y'know, time zones.

* * *

Ace was running laps when Luffy appeared at his side.

"Hi, Ace!" the boy greeted, making Ace jump.

"Gah! Luffy, what are you doing here?!"

"Math is boring," Luffy answered, "so I didn't go and came here instead." He was keeping the up at a very impressive rate, considering Ace was a varsity track runner and Luffy wasn't on any sports teams.

"Jesus, Lu, you can't just skip math!" Ace berated, still running. "Besides, you're going to distract me."

Luffy pouted. "Come on~!"

"No."

Luffy pouted even more, but didn't deviate from running right at Ace's side.

"Go back to math, Luffy!"

Luffy did not go back to math. In fact, he grabbed Ace's hand, and dragged him to a secluded spot behind the nearest building. He nearly pulled Ace's arm out of its socket doing so.

"Lu—" Ace started, but Luffy cut him off by pushing him back against the wall. "Lu…"

Luffy stood on his toes, just enough so that his breath brushed over Ace's lips. "I'm gonna distract you, huh?" he asked leadingly.

"Now isn't the time…" Ace tried weakly.

Luffy leaned in just long enough to give Ace a tiny peck on the lips. "Are you sure?"

"…No," he admitted, looking away.

Luffy snickered, and then closed what was left of the gap between them. After a second, Ace wrapped his arms around Luffy's waist in kind.

Luffy never did go back to math class.


	4. SasuNaru? But I've Never Seen Naruto!

A/N: Someone requested SasuNaru, but I don't know anything about Naruto. I tried, and I failed. Tomorrow's chapter has a similar story behind it.

* * *

A blond man stepped forward. "I am ninjaman!"

"I am also ninjaman!" said his dark-haired friend.

"And together," they said in unison, "we are NINJAMEN!"

"We're also married," added ninjaman.

"That's right," agreed the other ninjaman.

Then they kissed, and went home and probably had sex. The end.


	5. Puzzleship? But I've Never Seen Yugioh!

A/N: Once again, someone requested a fandom I know nothing about. When yesterday's one went up, I got crap from Naruto fans for it for some reason. I hope any Yugioh fans who happen across this one are kinder.

* * *

"I am Yami," Yami said to the other child.

"I am Yugi," said Yugi.

"Do you want to play a card game?" asked Yami.

"Yes," said Yugi.

Yami and Yugi played a card game, which led to them becoming good friends. In the future they fell in love with each other, got married, and had several children through seahorse-like methods. Their children grew up to be card game playing geniuses, one of them even inventing his own card game. Yami and Yugi were very proud of their children. They grew old together and died. The end.


	6. Fem! SaboLaw: Squirming

"Lawra," the blonde started, frowning, "I need to talk to you."

Lawra sighed, lifting her pen away from her papers and turning in her chair. "What is it now, Sabine?"

"It's about Lucy." Sabine gestured to the door, where her younger sister was peeking around the frame along with her friends Usagi and Cho. "You need to stop bullying her when you give her checkups."

"Bullying her?!" Lawra shot an icy look at the door. Lucy, Usagi and Cho disappeared out of eyesight. "Insisting that she not squirm and tamper with my equipment is not _bullying her_."

"Look," Sabine held her hands up placatingly, "I know I don't go to you for checkups myself, so I don't know your bedside manner, but Lucy can usually tell the difference between being mean and being strict. Maybe just… tone it down a little."

"It doesn't get through the girl's thick head if I don't tone it _up_!"

"She can't possibly squirm _that_ much," muttered Sabine.

Lawra scowled. "Let me give you a physical, we'll see how much _you_ squirm…"

Sabine gulped, her face turning cherry red. Lawra let her eyes wander, making sure to be _very_ blatant in sizing the other woman up. She had to say, her guess was right — Sabine was already squirming.

"A-alright then," agreed Sabine, her voice cracking slightly.

Lawra lifted an eyebrow. "Oh?" She could admit, Sabine's willingness was intriguing. "Shall we make it a date?"

"We shall." She sounded more sure of herself this time, nodding. "Tonight?"

"Tonight." Lawra sized Sabine up once again, just as blatantly as before, then smirked. "I'm sure it will be a _pleasure_ working with you."


	7. ShanksAce: Magic

Shanks chuckled slightly from his seat on the side as the fireball Ace tried to conjure came out the size of a nickel. Ace glared at his instructor.

"Don't worry about it, sport, you'll get better with practise," Shanks assured him, grinning. He gestured with his one arm at Benn, who recognised the signal and poured Shanks another cup of rum.

"I've _been_ practising!" Ace insisted. His glare switched from Shanks down to his own hands. "Damn it! Why can't I do this?! Even Luffy can make a bigger fireball than this!" He tossed the fire-nickel at the ground, leaving a scorch mark on the already worse-for-wear grass.

"That's because Luffy started learning from me when he was seven years old," said Shanks. "While you, Ace, just started at age twenty-one."

"Right. Of course." Ace took a moment, shoulders hunched, eyes squeezed shut. "Just like everyone tells me… I should have picked a school of magic sooner. I should have settled."

Shanks considered this for a second, then shook his head. "Nah, kiddo, that's not entirely true."

"It's not?" Ace ignored the 'kiddo' nickname. With Shanks, he would just have to get used to the demeaning monickers. "Well, what, then, is the advantage of starting magic late?"

Shanks grinned, hoping up and walking over to Ace with his rum in hand. "If you were a young'un, it'd be _very_ morally questionable when I do _this_." Before he knew what was happening, Ace felt lips against his own, followed by the trickled of rum running from another mouth into his. Shanks pulled away. "But you're twenty-one, so it's only _kind of _morally questionable."

"I'm pretty sure that's still pretty questionable," Benn grumbled from off to the side.

"Oh, who cares?" Shanks waved him off.

Benn left as directed, but they could tell he was still near, keeping a wary eye on them.

Shanks didn't bother to wait until Benn had moved his attention elsewhere, though, to start suggesting activities to Ace that might have one questioning Shanks' morals. Ace told him to save it until he'd managed to upgrade his fire-nickels to at the very least fire-tennis balls.


	8. LawLu: Blood

"I'm a vampire," Law confessed impulsively one day over dinner.

Luffy hummed around the food in his mouth. "I kinda figured."

"You…" Law blinked once, then twice, staring at Luffy in surprise. "You did?"

"Well _duh_. You only ever visit in the evenings, you always insist I gotta invite you in, and you're not eating any garlic bread!" Luffy indicated the platter of Law's most hated food in the middle of the table. "Sanji made that, you know," he added a bit petulantly, unbelieving that there was anyone in the world who would reject Sanji's cooking.

"You know I hate bread," Law replied just as petulantly. Luffy gave him a look. "…But yes, the garlic's a problem too."

Luffy, vindicated to hear him admit it, went back to his meal without another thought. After a second, Law did the same.

Law was just taking a sip from his drink when Luffy asked, "So, do you drink a lot of blood?"

Law had to struggle to keep from choking. "N-no, not _a lot_, no," he stammered once he had recovered. Luffy tilted his head, interested, so he went on, "Just… about a sip, every day, is enough."

"So you don't hurt people," Luffy said, sounding very pleased.

"Not necessarily," Law answered vaguely. Luffy didn't seem to catch on.

"So if you bit me…" Luffy started, making Law really choke this time.

He got a handle on it remarkably quickly. "No, no no no. I'm not biting you."

Luffy pouted. "Why not?"

Law restrained the urge to give an answer along the lines of _your blood probably attracts fleas, you slob,_ and instead said, "I've already drank today."

"Next time, then," Luffy decided, not paying attention to Law's opinions as usual.

"Next time," Law repeated, scowling. Luffy didn't notice his dark tone, humming to himself happily as he went back to dinner. "'Next time,' alright…"

Luffy chewed on obliviously.


	9. SaboLaw: Pair-Bonded

"What are you doing, Top Hat-ya?" Law asked wearily. He really was not in the mood for his pack mate's antics that day.

Sabo looked over his shoulder, and soon his tail began wagging. "I'm making us our own den, Trufflebar!"

Law's eye twitched, but he decided he could ignore the nickname for now. "Why, exactly, do we need our own den?"

"Well," Sabo started, turning back to his makeshift den. It was more of a hole, really. Great lumps of dirt piled up on either side. "If we're gonna be pair-bonded…"

"We are _not_ going to be pair-bonded!"

"But the Alpha said—"

"I don't care what the Alpha said!"

"The Alpha said we're in love with each other," Sabo carried on as if the interruption hadn't happened. "He can smell it on us. And if we're in love it only makes sense to be pair-bonded and get our own den, right?"

"Top Hat-ya…" Law growled.

"That's another thing!" Sabo held up a finger. "If we're gonna be pair-bonded, you're gonna need a better pet name for me than that. Like how I call you Trufflebar. Try human sweets, they make a good starting point…"

"WE ARE NOT GOING TO BE PAIR-BONDED!" Law interrupted. He glared at Sabo before turning and stalking away, finally fed up.

A moment passed silently, then Sabo snorted to himself. "Tsundere."


	10. AceLu: Survivors

Ever since the world ended, Ace had found that liberal use of the F word helped keep him from going insane.

"Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck-fuck," he said to himself as he bashed zombie heads in with the blunt end of his ammo-less gun, "fuckity fuck fuck, fucking fuck fuck fuck…"

They weren't exactly _threatening_, these zombies. There may have been movies with undead that could run faster than a jet plane, or pitch high and piercing cries to rupture eardrums, or _whatever_, but the fact was that rotting flesh just wasn't the most physically capable of vessels. These zombies were slow and weak and stupid, but they were persistent and numbered far higher than any survivors did.

If there _were_ other survivors, that is. Ace hadn't seen anyone living since, well, since the world ended.

"Fuck!" Ace yelled, the gun sliding out of his hand, trapped in the cranium of some sticky-handed undead. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck—"

Ace stepped back. The zombies stepped forward.

Suddenly, "Aaaaaaah, aaaahh-ah-aaaaaahhhhhhhh!"

A strangely Tarzan-reminiscent yell came from the rafters, making even the undead stop to look. Two men came swinging down on ropes.

One dropped down in front of Ace, and in the space of a gleam of light off of blade, the nearest zombies were missing their heads.

The other man, still swinging back and forth like a pendulum, snickered. "Nice job, Zor— Oof!" He cut off as he crashed into Ace, sending them both tumbling onto the abandoned warehouse's floor.

"Idiot," muttered the first man through, somehow, a sword's hilt clenched between his teeth. He pulled two more swords out of sheaths at his hip, and soon he was dispatching the rest of the undead.

Ace looked away from the swordsman and focused instead on the man who was still laying on top of him, seemingly not cognizant of personal space. The man, more of a boy, probably a teen a little younger than Ace, had propped himself up on his elbows and was looking down curiously.

"Who're you?" the boy asked finally. "And what're you doing fighting dirt-eaters in our hideout?"

"Um," Ace paused, slightly dazed by the sudden turn around of the situation. "I'm Ace… And I'm just, you know, trying not to die."

The boy considered this for a moment, then nodded sagely. "Cool. I'm Luffy, that's Zoro. You alone?"

"Yeah."

Luffy grinned. "Wanna join us? Safety in numbers, right?"

Ace couldn't do more than stare before an unfamiliar voice scoffed. "If you're done macking on the new guy, shitty rubber bastard, maybe you can help with the pest control."

Ace and Luffy looked up to see a blond guy with a cigarette standing over them.

"Nah," Luffy told the blond, grinning. "You and Zoro got this one."

The blond looked over Ace for a second, then gave a vaguely unimpressed 'humph' before heading off to join the swordsman.

"…Do you mind?" Ace asked, as Luffy looked down again with a huge grin and almost intense gleam in his eyes. "You're sort of, um, laying on my body."

"I know," Luffy answered cheerfully. He didn't move.

"Um…"

A few minutes passed as Luffy lay there, looking down at Ace, the only sounds being the clang of metal and the disgusting splurches of guts hitting the floor. When the fighting came to a close, Ace looked over to see the two men raising their eyebrows at his and Luffy's position.

Luffy's head dipped down and cushioned itself on Ace's chest, the boy giving a happy sigh.

_Well_, Ace thought to himself, looking down at the suddenly sleeping zombie hunter, _at least it's better than the average day in a zombie apocalypse_.


	11. AceLu: Baristas

"Here you go, sir!" Luffy said to the customer he was serving, his smile as winning as always.

On the other side of the room, Ace sighed.

Nami, who stood next to him behind the counter, glowered. "If you're so interested, why don't you just ask him out?"

"You know why, Nami," he shot back, still watching Luffy with depressed longing. "He's my coworker. I barely know him outside the coffee shop… I don't even know if he likes guys!"

She sighed. "Look, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret."

Ace perked up. "I'm listening…?"

"He asked me not to tell anyone about it, but I think this circumstance warrants a stretch of his trust. Months ago, before you started working here, he ranted to me about how badly a blind date had gone, and how he really just wanted to date a guy who actually liked him in the first place. He hasn't gone on any dates since." She lifted her eyebrow at him pointedly. "And, I heard him talking about you with Vivi. Trust me, he likes you."

"I… don't think I follow," Ace admitted.

Nami rolled her eyes. "I'm saying, he's single, likes guys — and you in particular — and would be eager to date someone who was interested in him personally." Another second of no response from Ace before she continued, "_So_, if you go over there and tell him about your crush on him, he'll agree to a date before you can even ask for one!"

"Really?!" he asked, finally up to speed.

"Yes, thick-head!" she laughed. "Go do it now!"

Ace practically jumped to his feet. "I will, I will!" he said, and hopped over to where Luffy was standing.

Nami leaned back against the counter, smirking at the two as she watched a very, very happy expression settle on Luffy's face. "Idiots."


	12. AceSaboLu: Games

Sabo had been aware that customers like this existed — he'd heard stories from some of his "coworkers" about people who paid them not for sex, but for companionship —but he had never had any himself before.

When Sabo had been hired out to two young men, he had expected that they wanted a threesome. And considering the stature and visible muscles on the older one, he had expected things to get dangerous for him if he tried to say no. He had expected an unpleasant night of being the bottom of rough three-way sex for two reckless and potentially violent men.

Instead, he was sitting on the floor of a motel room playing children's games.

"Yahtzee!" the older one of them yelled. The younger cheered.

"So…" Sabo interrupted, when the unfamiliarity of the situation caught up to him, "you guys really don't want to have sex?"

"Are we supposed to?" asked the younger, who had introduced himself as Luffy.

"Well…" Sabo didn't know how to answer. "Most people do."

"Do _you_ want to have sex?" Luffy asked, his head tilting. The older, Ace, remained silent, though Sabo thought he saw his shoulders quaking with laughter.

"Not really," he answered. Ace gestured for him to roll his own dice, and he did so. "I just, you know, was sort of expecting you to."

Luffy tilted his head, then gestured Ace to come over to him. He whispered something in Ace's ear, and they both smirked.

It was when they started edging towards him from either side, still smirking, that Sabo tensed. He really shouldn't have said anything. Now he was going to have an unpleasant threesome just like he expected, and possibly not be able to walk for a while…

But instead, they just gave him a kiss on either cheek before backing away and going back to their game. Sabo stared, confused.

"Well?" Ace asked. "It's still your turn."

Sabo looked down at the dice in front of him, and wondered if Ace and Luffy would ever come back. He knew he really shouldn't, but… he could get used to this.


	13. AceLu: The Prince and the Pauper

Ace nearly jumped out of his skin when one of the maids rapped on his bedroom door. "Are you alright in there, Your Highness?" she asked.

"Perfectly alright!"

"Are you sure? Because there were some odd noises coming from this hall a while ago… One of the servants described it as grunting? Did you hear it?"

A queer sound came from the back of Ace's throat. "Nope!" he answered, his tone gaining another level in shrill. "No sounds!"

There was a pause. "Alright," she conceded. "My apologies for disturbing you."

He waited for her footsteps to fade away before letting out a breath. He turned, looking back at the cause of his turmoil.

A peasant boy from the nearby village dozed contentedly between Ace's soft sheets. He was a rather cute boy, in Ace's opinion; round face, big eyes, fluffy hair… That was half the problem. The origin of the "grunting" sound was no mystery to Ace.

The other half of the problem was that he was arranged to marry the princess of Alabasta.

Ace sighed, and meandered over to the large bed to crawl in next to the boy, Luffy. He threw an arm around Luffy's waist, watching as the boy's large eyes blinked open.

Luffy's eyes slid from Ace's face, down to his arm, and back up again. Then he grinned, and his eyes fluttered closed, going back to sleep. Ace smiled. Something in him wanted to marry this boy instead.

He pulled Luffy close to him, shutting his own eyes. Later, he decided. He'd feel guilty for inviting a peasant into his bed… later.


	14. SaboLaw: Word Games

A/N: To the guest reviewer who stated they thought they had seen these before, it's likely you have. These have all been published in the past on my tumblr, and I'm just moving them to here and AO3 currently.

* * *

"So," Sabo started nonchalantly, "how you doing?"

Law glared at him from across the prison cell. "How do you _think_ I'm doing?"

"Eh." The blond looked around the sixth level of Impel Down, earning scowls from everyone he made eye contact with. "Not so good?"

Law sat back, scowling as well. "No."

Sabo managed to remain quiet for a couple more minutes before he got fidgety. "Hey, wanna play that you-say-a-word-that-starts-with-the-last-letter-of-the-word-I-said game?"

"No," answered Law.

"I'll start. Eggplant."

Law was silent.

"Did you hear me? Eggplant," Sabo said a little louder. "_Eggplant_."

Law didn't say anything.

"Eggplant. Eeeeeegggplannnt. Eggplant! E-G-G-P-L—"

"Tylenol," Law replied gruffly. "Fucking tylenol, okay?"

"Ooh, nice," said Sabo. "Let's see, L… lyre."

"Rhododendron."

"Wrong!" Sabo laughed. His shackles clanged to join the noise. "I said lyre, not liar. L-Y-R-E."

"Fuck you. Elephant."

"Temerity," the blond replied without a pause. "Need me to spell that one, too?"

"What do you think this is, a spelling bee?" Law asked. "Because it's a prison. Ylang-ylang."

"Grievous. And I know it's a prison; why else do you think I'm resorting to playing word games with a sourpuss to keep myself busy?"

Law sneered. "_Scowl_," he said pointedly. "Well I can only be glad that you hold me in the highest respect, can't I?"

"Well of course! I don't give respect freely, you know." Sabo leaned back, looking accomplished. "You, my friend, are a smart cookie. Listeria."

"Atrophy." Law glared in such a way that said the word was not merely his turn in the game, but something he wished upon Sabo as well.

"Y… y…"

Law smirked.

"Yawn," Sabo finished.

"Necrosis." Once again, it sounded more like a curse.

"Sycamore."

"Edifice."

"Extrapolate."

"Enamoured."

Sabo smirked. "Are you hinting something? Discussion."

"Narcotic."

"Contour."

"Rhododendron."

Sabo pouted. "You can't use the same word twice!"

"The first time didn't count," Law pointed out. "You said _lyre_, remember? Not liar."

Sabo sighed. "I suppose that's fair… Necrophiliac." He said it like an insult, smirking.

"Concussion," Law hissed through his teeth.

"Now?" Sabo asked cheekily.

"Whenever," Law answered, his shackles giving a responding clank.

Sabo thought it over, looking out among the other prisoners. He earned a whole new round of scowls. "Risky…"

"Yes," Law said simply.

"Super!" Sabo grinned.

Law lifted an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yup!"

"Please," Law muttered, rolling his eyes.

A sudden bang came from the ceiling. Sabo stood up, his shackles falling to the ground beneath him. Law had to restrain his jaw from dropping.

"That's my ride," Sabo said cheerfully. "Ah, Dragon. He's always on time."

"You…" Law couldn't think of anything adequate to say to that. "…You didn't say anything that starts with E."

Sabo looked down at Law, surprised and amused. Then, "Am I _erroneous_," he said, "in asking you to join me?"

Law gave it a short, silent consideration. "Somehow," he answered, "I think I'm going to say yes."

"_Well_ then." Sabo pulled a key out of his pocket. "Shall we?"

Law smirked. "Let's."


	15. CavenBarto: Senpai My Foot

Cavendish glared at the posters on the wall of his dorm. His _shared_ dorm, that was. Shared with a person who didn't even admire him!

When 'White Horse' Cavendish had gone to college, he had thought his peers would be in awe of him, the renowned male model, but _no_, everyone and their mother was obsessed with, with vapid teenaged pop stars!

Bartolomeo, his roommate, was completely enamoured by one in particular. A particularly vapid one; when Cavendish had deigned to look this 'Luffy' up to see what was the big deal, he found tabloid articles upon tabloid articles of eccentric and downright stupid things the Japanese singer had done.

Yet Bartolomeo still looked up to the guy. And Bartolomeo, on first glance, was the _last_ person you would expect to get hooked on a mainstream, saccharine j-pop sensation; he dressed like a punk, had intimidating body mods out the wazoo, and acted like an internet troll made animate. Well, except when it came to the topic of his 'senpai.'

"Ah, Luffy-senpai is coming _here_?!" Barto was currently gushing as he read the latest instalment of his favourite celebrity gossip rag. One that didn't feature any models at all, let alone Cavendish, the blond noted huffily. "No way!"

"So?" Cavendish huffed, crossing his arms.

"He's doing a concert! Holy shit!" Barto grabbed Cavendish and shook him, trying to impart to him the truly pants-shitting awesomeness of this turn of events. "Holy shit, holy shit! I _need _to see this concert! Luffy-senpai is the world's greatest musician!"

Cavendish scowled, but then a smirk crossed his face. Luffy simply couldn't hold up to Barto's expectations, after all. "Well, why don't I buy you tickets? We can go together."

"You would do that?" Barto's eyes welled up with tears that would be uncharacteristic if they weren't talking about Luffy.

Cavendish smiled as pleasantly as he could manage. "Of course I would!" He would just prove himself better than Luffy, and then Bartolomeo would love him for sure!

…Er, did he say 'love'? He meant… admire. Bartolomeo would _admire _Cavendish for sure. Yes, that was it.


	16. KiddLu: Lipstick

"Hold still, you fucking brat…" Kidd muttered, scowling as Luffy giggled and squirmed.

"I can't heeeelp iiiiit," whined Luffy. "It tickles!"

"You should be used to it by now," Kidd answered, reaching for the mascara. Honestly, the things he was required to do before they would put someone in front of a camera… "You're going to mess it up and we'll have to start all over!"

Luffy pouted, and Kidd decided to take advantage of that and do the lipstick next. He put down the mascara and picked up one of the several dark shaded tubes he had been provided.

Later on, Luffy would be modelling for a clothing line aimed at a certain demographic that was generally known as "goth." Kidd could see why the boy had been picked; with black hair, black eyes, and a fashionable looking stitched-up scar running over his left cheek, he also had the skinny sort of physique that was so common among the demographic.

Luffy himself, though, was pretty far from goth, and usually wore very brightly coloured and simple clothing. Kidd hypothesized that the boy's clothes were so simple because Luffy had trouble working even a belt buckle — he kept his pants up with a sash of fabric. He had probably needed several assistants to get into the multi-layered, netting-generous, metal-decorated outfit he was in at the moment.

Luffy sat by and let Kidd paint his lips a purple tinted almost-black. It was the same shade Kidd normally wore, and for a second Kidd wondered if he had mixed up the lipstick tubes and used his own instead.

It took a very, very long time to get the rest of Luffy's makeup done, but in the end, Luffy was ready to go. He was several shades paler than usual — thanks to various different foundations and powders — and his eyes and lips stood out in their popping black colours. Kidd had even managed to make the fake piercings on various parts of Luffy's head look natural.

Luffy was quite excited to see himself in the mirror.

"I don't even look like me!" Luffy exclaimed, grinning up at Kidd a bit too widely for the makeup artist's liking. "Thanks, Kidd!" He stood up on his toes and gave Kidd a kiss on the cheek.

Kidd gaped for a second, not knowing how to proceed, but he managed to grasp on to the most normal-seeming issue at the time.

"You idiot! Now we have to redo your lipstick!"


	17. ZoLu: Meet the Family (re-up)

A/N: I'm thinking of changing my username. There's a poll on my profile so I'd really appreciate your opinions.

EDIT: So, another person has brought up how familiar one of these seems. Maybe I need to start adding a disclaimer to each chapter? Here goes:

Disclaimer: If you think you've seen this before, you probably have. **I am moving these to this site from my tumblr account****.** Please stop accusing me of plagiarising myself. Thank you.

* * *

"You!"

Zoro went cross-eyed, looking at the index finger the boy had shoved into his face. "Me?"

"Yes, you!" said the boy. "Be my boyfriend!"

Zoro wasn't sure he could express the pure what-the-fuck he felt at that moment, so instead he carried on like nothing happened. "Why?" he asked simply.

"Because you look like you probably killed a man with your teeth." The boy put his hands on his hips. "And I'm mad at my brother."

"…You want me to kill your brother with my teeth?"

"NO WAY!" the boy yelled, stepping back a little. Then, he pouted. "I want you to pretend you're my secret boyfriend to piss him off."

"OI, LUFFY!" another voice called from nearby, making the boy, presumably Luffy, tense. "Where are you?! Come on, kid, you can't just say something like that and run off…"

Luffy grabbed Zoro's arm and put it over his shoulders. "Over here, Ace! Come quick, I want you to meet someone!"

A tall man came into view a few seconds later, turning around the corner of the building they were standing by. He took one look at Luffy before his eyes slid over to Zoro, then to the arm that sat around Luffy's shoulders.

"Who the hell is this?" Luffy's brother asked coldly.

"Ace, meet my boyfriend," answered Luffy. He shot an over-the-top lovey-dovey grin at Zoro, who remained stoic. "His name is, um, Pitbull."

Ace gaped at them both for a second more. "Pitbull," he repeated with no small measure of disbelief. "Your _boyfriend_?"

"Uh-huh~"

"Why didn't you tell me you'd… you'd… started dating some juvenile delinquent?!" Ace demanded

"You would've known if you weren't _ignoring me_!" Luffy shot back.

"I'm not ignoring you!"

"Save it for the judge," Zoro advised, smirking.

Ace glared at him. "You'd know a thing or two about hearings, wouldn't you?"

"Oh, totally." Zoro grinned, showing off the teeth Luffy had guessed were of murderous quality. "I'm in and out of courts all the time. Just got cleared of suspicion for a double-homicide, actually."

"Luffygetawayfromhim," Ace half-whispered as he turned pale.

"Not yet!" Luffy whined. He pulled out a pen from… who knew where, really. "I came to see him today 'cause I realised, I forgot to give him my number! Silly me, huh?"

Luffy scrawled something on Zoro's hand while Ace swore and repeated his request for Luffy to get away from the scary, scary man.

Then Luffy finally drew back from Zoro — but not without a flirty wave for good measure — and went over to his brother's side. Ace quickly grabbed him and high-tailed it.

Zoro looked down at his hand, almost surprised to find that Luffy really had written a number there. Maybe later, he would give it a call.


	18. AceLu: Happy Campers

A/N: There's probably not going to be an update tomorrow, though I will try. Things are going to be busy, to say the least.

And now since I apparently need to make this disclaimer: If you think you've seen the following ficlet before, you probably have. **These were all posted to my tumblr weeks** **ago, **and I'm just moving them. Please stop accusing me of plagiarising myself.

* * *

The children of Camp Julienne had two very beloved counsellors. There was the cheerful, reckless Luffy, who was always willing to play with them, and always had a fun story from his friend Usopp to tell. Then there was the more down-to-earth and kindhearted Ace, who dispensed big-brotherly advice as easily as he breathed, and was strong enough to balance six kids sitting on his arms. It was rather lucky that Ace and Luffy rarely went anywhere without each other.

"Mocha!" Rika called to her friend as she ran up. "Mocha, have you seen Ace and Luffy?"

"No, I haven't," Mocha answered. She offered Rika one of the candies she had been chewing, but Rika shook her head. "Why?"

"I saw something down by the lake! I thought they might know what it is."

Mocha stuck her candies in her pocket. "Let's go find them and ask!"

The two girls wandered around until they found the nearest counsellor; a rather grumpy man named Law, who didn't like bread. After the man had announced his dislike for that particular food, none of the kids had been able to think of him as anything other than a bread-hater. Coincidentally, that was when he started getting grumpier.

"Law?" Rika pulled on the counsellor's sweatshirt. "Have you seen Ace and Luffy?"

"Those two idiots?" asked Law, rolling his eyes. "They went to spend some time alone behind the cabins."

"Thank you," Rika and Mocha said together politely. Law gave them a gruff nod and they headed off.

They got to the cabins quickly. Mocha thought she heard something, so she gestured Rika to be quiet. It sounded vaguely like slurping…

They rounded the cabins, and sure enough, they found Ace and Luffy… kissing!

They gasped.

Ace and Luffy pulled away abruptly, turning to look at them like deer in headlights.

"Oh no," Mocha said as she worried her hands. "You were kissing! You're gonna get cooties!"

Ace visibly sagged with relief, and Luffy's shoulders shook with laughter. "No, you see," Ace said in his big-brother-advice voice, "we're both boys. You can only get cooties from someone of the _opposite_ gender."

"Like pregnancy," was Luffy's contribution.

"So, we're actually _preventing_ cooties."

"And pregnancy."

Ace elbowed Luffy in the side.

Mocha and Rika considered this, then nodded. It did make sense…

"Moving on!" Ace said quickly. "Were you looking for us, kiddos?"

Rika nodded eagerly. "Uh huh! I saw something by the lake and I thought you would know what it is!"

"Well, let's go take a look then, shall we?"

The two girls led them away. If Ace and Luffy sneaked another kiss, well, Mocha and Rika didn't comment.


	19. AceLu: Nap Time

A/N: And now since I apparently need to make this disclaimer: If you think you've seen the following ficlet before, you probably have. **These were all posted to my tumblr weeks** **ago, **and I'm just moving them. Please stop accusing me of plagiarising myself.

* * *

_akinus a crabby basterd_, the blackboard read when Ace walked into the detention room. He had to agree with its assessment, though he deducted points for spelling. Akainu, after all, was the one who gave Ace detention for accidentally melting a bunsen burner. Crabby bastard indeed.

The detention room was rather full that day. The only table with an empty chair had a boy sleeping on top of it, but Ace took the seat anyway. He glanced at the front of the room, and saw the teacher on duty, Aokiji, was wearing a sleeping mask. No one was trying to sneak out, though; Aokiji had an uncanny knack for suddenly waking up if a student tried something funny.

Ace was feeling kind of tired himself. He felt a couple other sensations, too, which told him a narcolepsy attack was imminent.

He looked down at the sleeping boy in front of him, and his suddenly-sleep-muddled brain decided that, well, at least the boy looked warm and soft, before he plopped down on the boy's stomach and lost consciousness.

When he awoke, he had changed positions. Now, the boy from before was kneeling on the table, holding Ace's head in his lap. He was stroking Ace's hair, which Ace had to admit was pretty soothing.

Ace lifted his head enough to see that they were now the only ones in the room, excepting Aokiji, who was still asleep at his desk.

"Oh, hi!" said the boy, having noticed him awake. "I'm Luffy. I woke up and you were on my tummy. It tickled."

"Um. Sorry," Ace muttered. He debated whether lifting his head of the boy's lap was worth it — he was still very tired.

"S'okay. I didn't want to wake you, and you were sorta clinging to me, so I stuck around!" Luffy grinned down at him.

Ace took another look around at the empty room, and asked, "How long ago did detention end?"

Luffy looked up at the clock above Aokiji's head and frowned. "Half an hour?" he whined to himself. "I missed my bus!"

"Sorry…" he said again. "I could give you a ride if you want?"

Luffy's grin resurged at an all new level of brightness. "Really? Thanks, man! You can sleep on me anytime you want!"

Ace tried very hard not to choke on air. Was that kid for real?! Apparently, he was. Luffy very cheerfully linked arms with Ace and let himself be led to the parking lot.

"Maybe next time, you can give me a piggyback," Luffy suggested just before he hopped into the front seat. "I like piggybacks…"

Ace got behind the wheel, and wondered if he would last a whole drive with a kid like that riding shotgun.

"…But why are they called piggybacks?" Luffy mused. "No one rides pigs. Why not horse backs? Or… cow backs? Or whatever? Hey, man, what way should I ride you?"

Ace put his head in his hands and groaned.


	20. SaboAce: First Impressions

A/N: And now since I apparently need to make this disclaimer: If you think you've seen the following ficlet before, you probably have. These were all posted to my tumblr weeks ago, and I'm just moving them. Please stop accusing me of plagiarising myself.

* * *

_Sabo,_

_I don't know what the point of having a pen pal is, but my parents are insisting on it. Whoever you are, nice to meet you, I guess…_

Sabo had to chuckle, thinking back to the first letter Ace had ever sent him. It was hard to believe it had been six years ago, and now they were going to meet for the first time in person.

The subway station was a bustling, obnoxious mess of harried people all around. Sabo had a photo of Ace in his pocket, which was supposed to help him recognise the man in the crowd. He'd mailed a picture of himself to Ace, too, so hopefully it wouldn't take too long to find each other.

Sabo bumped into the woman in front of him as someone, somewhere in front of him and several others, suddenly stopped.

"Do you know this guy?" Sabo heard someone ask faintly.

The line of people began to move like a tollbooth, each time accompanied by a "Do you know this guy?"

"Do you know this— Oh!" a short young man asked Sabo when it came his turn. "You _are _this guy!" The boy tucked a piece of paper, probably a photo, into the bright red brim of his straw hat and grabbed Sabo's arm. "ACE!" he yelled into the crowd. "ACE, I FOUND HIM!"

A face appeared over the crowd for a second, as if someone had hopped to see over everyone's heads. It happened again, and Sabo decided they probably had.

Then the same person broke out of a pack of subway-goers, stumbling just a second before heading towards them. Sabo recognised him from the photo of Ace.

"Good job, Lu," Ace said to the boy, messing with his hair. 'Lu' grinned back. "Sabo!"

"Ace!" Sabo considered whether it was appropriate to go for a hug, but Ace grabbed him up without hesitation and nearly broke his ribs. "Ha ha, nice to see you too!" he wheezed. Ace let him go, and suddenly Sabo's feet touched the floor again. "God, you're damn tall."

"And you wear a fuckton of blue," Ace replied. "Nice hat, by the way."

Sabo reached up to adjust the top hat sitting atop his head. "Same to you," he said, eying Ace's orange stetson.

"My hat's cool too," added Lu, adjusting his straw hat proudly.

"That it is," Ace agreed. He wrapped an arm around Lu's shoulders, then gestured Sabo closer so he could do the same to him. "What do you guys want for lunch? Because I'm thinking Italian…"


	21. AceLu: Their Haunt

And now since I apparently need to make this disclaimer: If you think you've seen the following ficlet before, you probably have. These were all posted to my tumblr weeks ago, and I'm just moving them. Please stop accusing me of plagiarising myself.

* * *

After Luffy had died, Sabo could barely get Ace to leave the small house he had shared with his lover. At first, Sabo thought it was just grief, just depression, just loneliness making Ace curl in on himself now that Luffy was six feet under, but since Sabo started spending more time in the house to help out, he had gained a different — crazier — theory.

Maybe it was the puzzle on the coffee table, which Ace would do a few pieces of before leaving it, and whenever he returned to it a few more would be done. Maybe it was the blanket, which seemed to hover over the couch instead of lie on it. Maybe it was the post it notes that would appear, seemingly new, in Luffy's handwriting. Whatever it was, it led Sabo's thoughts to _ghost_, which was impossible — but maybe Ace really believed Luffy's ghost was haunting his house; it could have explained his new shut-in behaviour.

So Sabo packed away the puzzle, smoothed down the blanket, tucked the post its out of sight. But it didn't matter. The puzzle reappeared in a different room, and the blanket seemed to push back, and the post its always found their way into Ace's hands somehow.

It did change one thing, though. Ace noticed what Sabo was doing, and he didn't like it. Sabo wasn't allowed to go near the puzzle, nor the blanket, anymore, and Ace started to hoard the post its far from Sabo's eyes. He became even more reclusive, confining himself to his and Luffy's bedroom rather than the whole house as he had before. He didn't let Sabo in, which was probably why Sabo didn't manage to catch on before he hung himself.

Sabo spent a long time considering whether packing the puzzle away again was worth it, but decided against it when he noticed that pieces kept getting filled in when he wasn't watching. He did move the blanket, though, and now the only blanket he was worried about was the one on Ace and Luffy's bed — it moved, sometimes, in a way that suggested something Sabo didn't want to think about. The post its came in Ace's handwriting now, too, and a lot of them were apologies and thanks. Sabo didn't know what to think.

Sabo might or might not have accidentally-on-purpose spilled a bag of flour in their kitchen, once, and sent the powder flying. He might or might not have gotten a glimpse of two human figures among the flour, holding hands. He might or might not have received a playful post it note in two different hands afterwards, teasing him for not believing.

He might or might not have kept living in Ace and Luffy's house. But, that was another story.


	22. MarcoAce: Pantheon

A/N: Sorry about the missing updates! I've had a busy time and I forgot completely.

And now since I apparently need to say this: If you think you've read this ficlet before, you might have. I have posted it previously on my tumblr. Please stop accusing me of plagiarising myself.

* * *

Ace used to think he was very special. That was when he was merely a child, though, before he knew the existence of other pantheons.

Today he was meeting a representative of Whitebeard's Pantheon, one of the most powerful pantheons there was. He was slightly nervous, but more than that, excited. He'd be meeting someone who had the same type of powers as himself: fire.

Ace didn't have to wait long on the neutral meeting grounds that had been decided on. Soon enough, the Phoenix swept in on a river of flames in the sky, resplendent in blues and yellows.

"Phoenix," he greeted, with as much respect as he could convey through the excited grin that had forced itself upon his face.

The Phoenix raised an eyebrow. "Fire Fist. Care to tell me the purpose of this meeting?"

"My Pantheon wants to negotiate territory," Ace answered. "My brother, you see, he's stubborn, always has been, and he made some friends down on Fishman Island…"

"I see," the Phoenix cut him off. "And what, exactly, is your brother offering to us?"

Ace's mouth snapped shut. "I don't think he thought that far ahead."

The Phoenix was unamused. Without a word, he turned around and looked to be about to fly off again.

"Wait!" Ace yelled, managing to make the Phoenix pause. "I'll… I'll find you something. Anything."

"How far does _anything_ go?" asked the Phoenix.

"Anywhere. I'll give you myself, if I have to."

The Phoenix's half-lidded eyes widened by a fraction. "You'd give up yourself, just to make your brother happy?"

"He's my little brother," Ace answered, not quite getting why the question was needed. "Of course I would."

"Well…" His eyes roved up and down Ace for a second, before he extended a hand. "Join Whitebeard's Pantheon, and you can consider it a deal, Fire Fist."

Ace reached out and took the hand with no hesitation. "Call me Ace."

The Phoenix smirked. "In that case, call me Marco."

"Alright." Ace smiled excitedly up at the other god again. "Nice to meet you, Marco."

"Well met, Ace."


	23. SaboLaw: The Last to Know

A/N: And now since I apparently need to say this: If you think you've read this ficlet before, you might have. I have posted it previously on my tumblr. Please stop accusing me of plagiarising myself.

* * *

Law and his father Doflamingo hadn't kept up much since Law had moved out to go to med school. Doflamingo had bought a property near the campus for Law to live on, and that had been the last they had heard of each other.

Law hadn't bothered to call Doflamingo when there was that scare with a woman who claimed to be pregnant with Law's child (she wasn't, and it was actually another man's, but she was hoping to get in on Law's financial security — how she expected it to work when Law had never had intercourse with her, he didn't know), he didn't call to boast about the award for exemplary marks he had won, and he certainly didn't call when he almost thought he had cancer after a doctor's visit set off some false-alarm red flags.

Doflamingo, for his part, never went out of his way to check in on him, either. Law didn't hear a peep from him when he graduated, nor when it turned out Law's cousin really _did _have cancer — Law only found out when he received the funeral invitation from his aunt, and when he attended, Doflamingo was not there.

Doflamingo had, apparently, not even called to tell Law he had gotten married.

"_How_ long?" Law demanded into the phone, speaking to his father for the first time in many years.

"Only a couple of years ago," Doflamingo's reply came flippantly from the speaker. "I'm sure you'd like her… Oh, no, on second thought, you would hate her completely."

Law groaned quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why are you telling me this _now_?"

"Well, your brother is heading down your way, and he needs a place to stay…"

"I don't have a brother."

"Step-brother," Doflamingo added, like an afterthought. "He's just a bit younger than you. Too smart for his own good, his mother tells me; wily. A lot like you, probably."

"Probably?" Law repeated.

"Well, I haven't met him before today."

He sighed. "You're truly a wonderful father." He could practically hear Doflamingo preening on the other end. "But I'm not letting him stay in my house unless I can talk to him first."

"Perfect! He's right here."

There was a small shuffling on the other end before a new voice spoke through it. "Hello?"

"Hello," Law replied, sounding as disinterested as he could manage. Hopefully his 'brother' would be too apprehensive to come and board in the house of a stand-offish older man.

However, he seemed unlucky. "Hi!" his 'brother' said back, sounding chipper. "My name's Sabo, if the flamingo forgot to tell you." Law heard a vague squawk, probably from the flamingo in question. "So, we're step-sibs now, huh?"

"It seems," answered Law, trying to maintain his indifference.

"Your dad's a dick," Sabo said frankly. Law had to squash a chuckle of agreement. "And my mom's a nosy bitch. She snooped and found out I was planning to run off and move to your city, 'cause my best friends moved there, and she told the flamingo, who was like 'oh, he can live with my kid'. I didn't even know he had his own kid. Does he do that often?"

"Very often."

"So, do you mind if I live with you? Even just to get me started. If you don't like me once you've known me for a while I can find somewhere else, just as long as I'm there and not here…"

"Well," Law mused, looking around himself at the immaculate room, which contained only the essentials, "I suppose it wouldn't be a problem."

The large house had been feeling uncomfortably lonely as of late, anyway.


	24. Strawhat Family: The Mugiwara Clan

A/N: Holy crap! It's the last one! I feel like this one is appropriate to end on, being a big domestic group ficlet.

And now since I apparently need to say this: If you think you've read this ficlet before, you might have. I have posted it previously on my tumblr. Please stop accusing me of plagiarising myself.

* * *

Nami drew in a breath, looking over a stack of papers. "These people will be the death of me…"

"How regrettable," Robin commented. "If you should die, it would be _my_ responsibility to handle the funds, and I do not have nearly the same prowess for economics as you."

"Can't I delegate this?" Nami asked the empty air. "Just for today?"

"To whom? Luffy?"

"Ha ha _no_. I don't know, maybe to… Franky?" Nami tapped her pen on the table, looking around as if searching for the inventor. "He's _got_ to know a thing or two about investments."

"I fear if we left the money in his hands we would return home to find our beds outfitted with engines and wheels," said Robin.

Nami snorted. "Sounds like something he would do."

"But perhaps," Robin started, smiling gently, "you do deserve a break. You work so hard for us, after all."

"Ah, a break~" Nami stretched out her back like the cat people so often compared her too. "Let's go down to Sanji's restaurant, maybe. Let him wait on us."

"A very good idea," Robin agreed. "Should we invite any of the others along?"

"Uh…" They both looked over the half-wall of the kitchen to the living room. Usopp and Luffy were asleep in a pile on the couch, Chopper sniffing at their faces with his tail a-wag. Brook and Zoro were having a conversation about kendo versus fencing, and Franky was nowhere to be seen, possibly outfitting a bed somewhere with an engine and wheels. Sanji, they knew, was still at work. "Maybe not."

So Robin and Nami retreated to their shared bedroom, where they found Franky "upgrading," not their beds, but their closets with a rotating hanger system. They kicked him out so that they could get changed.

Soon enough they were heading out the door, Nami calling a brief "Brook's in charge!" over her shoulder. The door shut behind them, leaving the idiots to their own devices.

They all, sans the sleeping Luffy and Usopp, exchanged glances. Dinner had not yet been served, and not one of them knew how to cook. The rock-paper-scissors would surely be broken out before the end of the night.

Chopper jumped up on the couch and relieved himself perilously close to Luffy's face. The others decided to never, ever mention it.


End file.
